Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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