Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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