Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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