the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
