And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
