Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
