Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The best revenge is premature balding
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize