'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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