hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
