Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
