He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
