There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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