i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
