Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
