it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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