Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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