Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
