why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
