I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
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