Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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