oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize