it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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