only if we run a train.
done.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize