i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
