I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
