Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
