just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
