Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
