even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize