He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
