I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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