That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
