I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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