i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
