Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
