I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
