I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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