Don't make out with my wife yet
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize