your room smells of hookers.
And success
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
