Dual....:-)
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
