Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
