Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
