My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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