I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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