butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
