Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
