How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
