I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
