I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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