Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
