She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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