No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
