How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
