My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
