we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
