she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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