you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
do herpes really smell.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
