I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
